Self Destructive Behavior

I have heard the term before but I'm not sure if i truly understood it until recently  I have a habit of buying things that are not necessarily to the greater good of my family.  I didn't gave the ability to go out and buy whatever I wanted when I was in high school like some if my friends did.  So when I became an adult with a good job I thought I could do just that.  If if was something I wanted I went and got it.  This wasn't a big deal until I was no longer a one person family.  This habit has been a center piece for many arguments between my husband and myself since.  Now the family has evolved even more over the last 7 years to include 2 beautiful children.  That behavior had still not changed.  To be honest it got worse.  I was no longer buying things I wanted but also things the kids didn't need.  In the last week, I have been trying to take some hard looks at myself and my behavior because 2 years ago I become really sick and had to have quadruple amputations.  That mean all 4 limbs were removed.  My husband has been by my side the whole time.  He has had to take the role of husband and wife in our marriage and take care of everything.  When I say everything, I mean EVERYTHING.  But then there is me, doing the same things I did before but adding to the stress of my husband by doing it.
Now to get back to the original point. You see during my sleepless nights I've come to realize that the buying of things that I have been doing this whole time is destructive behavior.  I have been buying things then hiding from my husband just to start an argument when he finds out.  OK, maybe not so much before but definitely now.  You see though, by buying this stuff that only is helpful or wanted by me is ruining my relationship with my husband.  We as a family will never be able to build a handicap accessible home.  Beside, he can't trust me to not do it and only by things that are good for the family.  OK I know this sounds controlling and I thought so too, which is why my behavior haven't changed until now, but you see its not that I can't buy things for myself but do i need to do it 4 or 5 times a week.  The answer would be no.  I don't need to and in order to fix myself and bad habits, I have to stop.  I can't keep putting my family through this.  My behavior is not just affecting me anymore.  It is affecting 4 people. This is what I am working on right now.  It is also why I started this blog.  I need somewhere I can talk through my issues, and trust me this isn't the only one.